What I’d give up…

^Viscomm plate for photo collage. Click to get the full view. It’s actually the 360 view of my living room. I was inspired by the one that the Viscomm o6 did last year. They did a 360 view of Pisay from the SHB rooftop. It was posted outside the library last year. That plate was one of the reasons why I decided to try out that elective. I really loved that collage.

I really don’t know why I just decided to put this up right now (Well, asides from the fact that I just made this blog) but I really regret not being able to join the Paskorus. I was really discouraged to continue when one of my classmates told a few people that Photon was sintunado. Oh great. I bet that he was talking about me. I was afraid to continue to join because I had this feeling that I may screw things up then the people will go and say things behind my back. I know that I’m a bit exaggerating but these things do really happen. As a matter in fact, when Photon was practicing one time, I was extremely tired from PE so I had to lip sing the song from time to time to let myself rest. Then when I found myself a-OK, I tried singing for real. Then after a few seconds, I was then being scolded that my voice was too high and if not that, it was out of tune. Gah. That was really degrading. That’s why I decided to quit.

I really want to sing. I love music a lot. I wish that I had a good singing voice. I wish I pursued the voice lessons I had last Grade 3 and 4. If I could, I would give up my interests and abilities in art just to be able to sing well. I really think that if I could sing well, it can help build up my self-confidence… I dunno. I think of it this way because people would stop scolding or laughing at you and start praising you. Exaggeration part 2. But this is how I really see things… it’s so shallow 😦

Maybe sometime in the future, I can find a way to improve my voice– take lessons again or so. But if I don’t succeed in that, maybe it’s just God’s way of saying that there are other things that I should take care of. But I really, really want to sing. It just feels happy.

Maybe I just need to stop listening to others for a change… but won’t that be also foolish? Just avoiding myself from finding out the truth? Gah. I’m completely confused right now. I need to sleep. It’s the end of the 4-day weekend.

Good night world! May CAT bukas!


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